Innocence Lost?

As a father of three, an engaged community advocate, a Y director for over 20 years, and a passionate voice for strong communities, I wrote my first blog to describe the YMCA’s role in strengthening the High Point community.  I wanted to champion causes that are near and dear to us all.  Causes such as our children and their development, or causes focused on making ourselves healthier, or championing the fight for those in our community who desperately need a boost in life. 

Well, I began thinking about why we need the Y.  Why do we worry that our kids are missing out on valuable life lessons such as good sportsmanship?  Or, why do some kids need homework assistance?  Or, why do adults and seniors need to volunteer in our community to help our fellow citizens?  Or, why do we need to teach job skills to teenagers? 

What is missing today, that, in days gone by, we were taught these valuable life lessons?  Several key items are glaring today.

First, the family is weaker as an institution.  In 1960, over 72% of all children under the age of 18 were living with two biological parents. In 2010, that number had declined to only 39%. By the US Census data in 2010, single parent households and blended households are undereducated and underemployed, leading to economic instability.  Discipline is missing from the equation on a daily basis.  Stability is the exception rather than the rule.  Fathers are less likely to coach t-ball or basketball. Mothers are more likely to hold two jobs just to make ends meet.

Second, our communities are less safe. Crime is much higher today than in generations past.  Kids cannot ride their bikes in the neighborhood, or stay out until dark. Unspeakable acts such as child abduction, or child sexual abuse, or gun violence are in our thoughts as kids leave home for school every day. Gangs are now in our daily conversations. Drugs are prevalent in every socio-economic strata of our community.

Third, our habits are self destructive. The family dinner has been replaced by the drive thru window. Technology has given us the ultimate time consuming, anti-social scapegoat in the form of the internet, or texting, or gaming. Communication with parents and mentors has been substituted by the video game. And, the daily visit to the playground or the community pool has been replaced by the DVD player and the iPod.

Finally, values are more likely to be a buzz word on a billboard as opposed to life lessons taught by parents, coaches, and teachers.  As a society, we have turned to the concept of “it takes a village”, versus the daily responsibility of holding one accountable for their actions.

As a kid I can remember walking home from school and stopping in the park for a pickup game of basketball and mom never worried. Or, roaming the neighborhood and knocking on doors asking if “Johnny can come out and play”.  Well, those days are gone. 

We cannot expect this level of innocence again.  How do we allow our kids to have wonderful childhood memories? Or, how do we instill a sense of adventure in our kids without worrying about that crazy neighbor down the street? 

The Y desperately wants to help!  We believe that a Y program can provide fun AND safety. We believe that our staff can assist in teaching life values AND hold kids accountable for their actions.  We believe that a Y program can create a healthier lifestyle AND make memories that will last a lifetime. And, we believe that the Y can foster the behavior of service to others.

If you are searching for that innocence, come watch your kids play soccer. Or, watch your child learn to swim for the first time. The memories may just come rushing back!